Cancer and Chess...a Curious Combination???

 

Hello, hello, hello, my people.  I know it's been two weeks--I am sorry.  As predicted, those last two weeks of school before break were quite hectic.  We had our auditions for second semester shows, which are always stressful.  But...it ended quite well for me!  I found out shortly before I left that I will be playing the role of Florence in Chess!  Hurray! 

I am sosososososososooooooooooooooooo excited!  However, I didn't truly allow myself to get excited until after I got even greater news:

I am CANCER FREE as of yesterday!

 

On my first day of break, I trudged over to University Hospital, got an echo cardiogram, EKG, pelvic x-ray, chest x-ray, and lots of bloodwork, and most importantly a flu shot...and everything is GREAT! I am officially allowed to switch from being monitored every three months to EVERY SIX MONTHS, and it's almost time for me to be officially switched over to the survivor center!  The doc also went over some of the stats with us, and 90 percent of Ewings Sarcomas will have already recurred by the this point.  The curve for Ewings has a sort of "tail" as the doc calls it, where the chance of relapse sort of lingers at a low percentage for a few years...but regardless...I feel physically at my best, my kidneys are behaving for the time being, and I'm so thankful this Thanksgiving (I have trouble spelling Thanksgiving for some reason, like wtf?) 

 

Anywhoooo, after getting my clean bill of health, I just feel so wonderful!  It's Christmastime, I'm seeing my family, I'm cuddling with my puppy, and next semester I'll be performing in Chess with Point Park's Conservatory Theater Company!  When I saw my name on the list...I was overwhelmed.  I called my mom...and I could tell how excited she was, and then told me I didn't sound excited.  Which, of course, I was thrilled...I was just so afraid of repeating what happened senior year of high school...where I was cast as Charity in Sweet Charity, only to be diagnosed with cancer three weeks later.  I knew I had tests coming up, and while I wanted to let loose and celebrate, I felt like I still needed to keep my gameface on until this week when my tests were over.

 

When I began the drive home from Pittsburgh, I put on the Chess recording...and ten seconds into the prologue, I thought I was going to have to pull over.  I started crying right at the wheel, thinking about the girl sitting at home while everyone performed the musical, celebrated senior year, went to college without her...and then thinking about how far I've come...how wonderful it's going to feel to take the stage and sing...how I'm back doing what I love to do, and I'm healthy...

 

It truly goes to show you that no matter how low you feel...when you feel like you've hit rock bottom (and trust me, I have)...close your eyes, and remind yourself that eventually you will be in a better place, regardless of what that place is, or how you get there.  And that is a promise from me to you.

 

Happy Thanksgiving (sp?) Everyone!

Jesse