Yeah, this post is gonna be another list. I can't crank out gems every week, folks, I got places to be, people to see, and diet pepsi cravings to tame. (TWO WEEKS!)
So since the diet pepsi thing has been working out somewhat, I decided to give up a few more vices. Some more reluctantly than others. Here are the top 5, and try not to hate me too much for this lame post. It's the first week of classes and I already feel stressed out, but now that we've hit 2121 views, I figured I should remain faithful to this blog. And I am so grateful that you read it ;)
Here we go.
1. I vow to stop licking the salt off the bottom of the plate when I eat at a restaurant. It's not so much that I lick the plate...per say...it's more that I drown food in salt (hey, I have low blood pressure), so that after I eat the food I may lick my FINGER and then obtain the salt via phalanges (and for all of you people judging...I have nothing to say. I love it. I love salt. You pee in the shower, I lick salt off my fingers from the bottom of the plate).
Alas, I will stop this, because I know it is frowned upon. So no more will Jesse eat straight up salt. Good riddance to you, godforsaken salt.
2. I will not stay up late refreshing the facebook page for no particular reason. I really have no reason to keep checking. But I just...I care. I just care about everyone on facebook. I need to know what you had for lunch today. I need to see your new haircut. Your new puppy. The scrape that you got when you were taking out the trash the other day. I just care.
Alas, I will stop this, because I know I must sleep. So no more will Jesse eat straight up salt, and stay up refreshing facebook. Good riddance to you, godforsaken salt and facebook refreshing.
3. I vow to stop trying to imagine what everyone looks like bald. I seriously do it. Sometimes the moment I meet someone. I'm just so curious now...I must picture it. But I really need to stop...because some people cannot pull it off...and for those that can't pull it off...well, those are the ones that I will forever picture bald. It's a problem. If you've met me...I know what you would look like bald. And if you're bald, I imagine you with hair. It's as simple as that.
Alas, I will stop this, because I know it's irrational. So no more will Jesse eat straight up salt, stay up late refreshing facebook, and picture everyone bald. Good riddance to you, godforsaken salt, facebook, and baldness-picturing!
4. I will not leave the flat iron on. That's pretty simple, folks. Nothing else to really say about that. Except I don't want to burn anything down, and who can blame me for that? It's just that...this whole chemo brain thing...I just forget...
ALAS!!! I will stop this, because I know it will result in death and destruction. So no more will Jesse eat straight up salt, stay up late refreshing facebook, picture everyone bald, or leave the flat iron on. Good riddance to you godforsaken salt, facebook, baldness-picturing, and fire-safety hazards.
5. Lastly...I vow to stop standing on my bed with my arms in the air, singing "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" for all of my imaginary descamisados.
Alas, I am lying. I will never stop pretending to be Eva Peron.
In conclusion:
No more will Jesse eat straight up salt, stay up late refreshing facebook, picture everyone bald, leave the flat iron on, or answer to anything but Eva.
What's new Buenos Aires,
Jesse
PS: If you have a chance, check out my friend Mike's new blog!!!! PREACH IT MIKE!
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